Livin' On A Prayer

I realize that I am probably not alone in this, but these days I feel that I have more things that I have to do than there are hours in the day. I'm beginning to feel stretched a little too thin. I have so many things that I feel I have to do or need to do, that there isn't time for the things I want to do.

One night last week, I was contemplating whether or not I should try and ride that evening.  I had forgotten my riding gear at home and then worked late.  I arrived home to a kitchen in desperate need of cleaning, I was hungry and I had homework and research looming over my head, figure in a drive during rush hour and horse that needs to be lunged before riding and the time really starts to add up.

What happened to the little girl who never wanted to leave the barn, she who would have loved to sleep in her horse's stall if given the opportunity? How could she now, 20-something years later, be too busy to ride? I couldn't remember if I had always had this much on my plate and blown it all off for horses, or if life had been simpler when I was younger.  In other words, what had changed: my life or my priorities?

As I sat at my kitchen table debating whether or not I should (or rather could afford) to take the time to go riding, I grew more and more agitated.  I was tired of analyzing different article structures and researching the arcane origins of this equine discipline or the top studs of that breed so that I can be an equine encyclopedia and be more employable, answering e-mail, cleaning my house and the other ten dozen things that I "should" do.  Finally, in defiance I decided that for that night I was going to do what I  wanted to do and the rest be darned until the next day.

As soon as I started backing out of my driveway Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer" came on the radio. To me, it was a sign. I don't know quite why, but that song just fit perfectly with my mood. So I turned the radio up and headed off into the sunset to go ride.

I stand behind that decision because I think that I can hardly write about riding without being a rider. Riding is what inspires me to write. Riding is also the my way of relieving stress and winding down, this lets me have the energy to do research and homework and go to my job.  More than that, horses are who I am.  My identity as a rider, my connection with horses, has always been the thing in my life that make sense.  Sometimes, it has been the only thing in my life that makes sense.  That's too important to ignore. So here's to riding and here's to livin' on a prayer.