Last night I dreamed I was going eventing. Sometimes dreams have meanings that are obscure and hard to find the reasoning behind. Sometimes there is no reason behind them except eating cheese right before bed- trust me, I speak from experience. However, there was no great mystery behind this dream, I was undoubtedly excited to be riding that day after a three-month hiatus.
All day at work, however, I felt completely crappy: nausea, headache, chills, etc. When I texted this to my fiance, he very sweetly replied, “You sound miserable. You should take some sick leave and just go home and rest.”
Go home? If I left work then that would mean I wasn’t well enough to make my lesson that evening.
“I have a lesson tonight. I took some naproxen and now my head feels much better,” I texted back. Suddenly, in the face of not having my lesson, I wasn’t sick at all!
As you can tell, I was so ready to ride, nothing was going to stop me. As I drove to the barn after work I felt such a sense of anticipation, of - as corny as it sounds- joy at the thought of being around the horses. Riding, grooming, just listening to them as they shifted in their stalls eating hay… I couldn’t wait. While it wasn’t exactly the same feeling I get when I visit my family halfway across the country, it was pretty close.
The intense, almost childlike excitement I was feeling served to remind me that horses and riding are what I love. They make me feel whole. Or, if you prefer modern cliches: I know that I’m living my best life when horses are involved.
So, even though when I got to my lesson, my fingers froze, my half-chaps wouldn’t zip all the way (But I’ve been working out regularly! waaaaaah!), my muscles didn’t work the way I wanted or I had to listen to my fellow students talk about the horses they’re leasing (don’t cry for me Argentina, I’m sure the decorations at my wedding will be well worth cutting back on lessons…..*sobs*)…. Even despite all these frustrating things, I couldn’t help but think:
at least I get to ride again.
It’s good to be back in the saddle (yet again).
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